Weblog of Quotes and Rants

Equations are the devil's sentences.

- Stephen Colbert

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

- Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

- Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

- Mitch Hedberg

[In response to other whispering and giggling:]

"Haha, quiet things are funny"

- Bo Burnham

My heart feels like wet toilet paper...It's like not even two ply, it's like one ply, it's like school toilet paper

- Psych