Weblog of Quotes and Rants

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

- Arthur Schopenhauer

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles

- George Jean Nathan

Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

- Ambrose Bierce

Music is essentially useless, as life is.

- George Santayana

I really liked this turn of phrase, from an interesting article on Africa

His face was etched with a kind of wisdom that comes at a price

- Alexandra Fuller

Equations are the devil's sentences.

- Stephen Colbert

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

- Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

- Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

- Mitch Hedberg

[In response to other whispering and giggling:]

"Haha, quiet things are funny"

- Bo Burnham

My heart feels like wet toilet paper...It's like not even two ply, it's like one ply, it's like school toilet paper

- Psych

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

- Robert McCloskey

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

- Oscar Wilde

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There must be a god, because I don't know how things work

- Stephen Colbert

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There's nothing like being persecuted to fortify your beliefs.

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If you want something done efficiently, get a lazy person to do it.