Posts tagged with 'funny'
Colbert FTW
From Monday Dec 2nd show, in response to rich people not caring:
Guess who has two thumbs, a lot of cash, and doesn't care that these aren't thumbs [gives middle fingers]
-- Colbert Report
The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive
hehehehe
Comedians are funny
Equations are the devil's sentences.
- Stephen Colbert
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
- Mitch Hedberg
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
- Mitch Hedberg
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
- Mitch Hedberg
[In response to other whispering and giggling:]
"Haha, quiet things are funny"
- Bo Burnham
My heart feels like wet toilet paper...It's like not even two ply, it's like one ply, it's like school toilet paper
- Psych